Press release from Helmut Schmidt University Hamburg
Oh, lovely Christmas time! Preparations are now in full swing: many are rushing from the shops to the Christmas market, from the fairy tale, concert or bazaar to the celebration at work, club or school. Gifts are looked for, cards are written, menus and visits are planned. One in three people find the time before and during the festival to be pure stress. Because we have too high expectations, Univ.-Prof. Dr. Philipp Y. Herzberg (47), Professor of Personality Psychology at the Helmut Schmidt University in Hamburg.
Let's face it: Even if we buy them all, not tablet PCs, smartphones, game consoles or books, but the hours we spend in harmony are our true Christmas gifts. Psychology professor Philipp Y. Herzberg: “Each of us longs for it, but we seem to have forgotten how to achieve it. The hamster wheel of everyday life seems to spin much too quickly.”
One in three Germans feels stressed by the preparations for the festival. According to a STERN survey, a full 80 percent find Christmas to be too commercial and they miss the peace and contemplation. It is we who contribute to making things hectic.
“Christmas is a classic point of accumulation. The year is coming to an end and you want to have done everything you planned for the year with a clear conscience,” says Herzberg. This is only natural so far. But together with our own expectations of the holiday and those presented to us by others, a sometimes explosive situation develops that often erupts on the holidays of all places: “Everyone joins in and suggests that Christmas is the festival of love and which is gifts,” says the expert, naming the problem. Many of us surrender unconditionally to the heated consumer frenzy. Grandparents outdo each other with ever larger, more valuable gifts, aunts, uncles and cousins join in. “This is sometimes linked to the idea that you can buy sympathy at Christmas or make up for everything that you have done wrong over the course of the year,” says the professor of personality psychology. Advertising does its part to support this illusion. “It is a very difficult mass psychological phenomenon that is difficult to escape.”
This is precisely why it is important to pause and understand what constraints are at work here. Anyone who prepares for the festival according to a strict plan runs the risk of exposing themselves to unnecessary pressure. “It is better to plan a basic framework in which you can act spontaneously and flexibly. Otherwise the plan will quickly become a new source of stress.”
A walk in nature gives you strength and relaxes. Many people find peace by drinking coffee with the family, playing or doing crafts. “This haptic experience in particular is very valuable for children because they can live out their creative ideas and not be exposed to noise.” They love it and wonderful gifts are created at the same time.
“Nobody is forced to do everything that consumer companies and advertising suggest to us. I think it is also possible to keep children away from this hype without any problems.” This also means that the gift rush among the little ones can be reduced to a reasonable level.
The inner voice should guide, even if that means not meeting other people's expectations. “Those who dare to break traditions and try something new often experience something unique,” encourages Herzberg. Be it by swapping the Christmas party with the family for a meal with friends or a vacation trip, or instead of a perfect dinner, a buffet awaits the guests. Sometimes a little thing is enough to achieve something bigger.
This also applies to resolving recurring family disputes. “Take time together with your partner, two weeks before the party
View critical points from a bird's eye view. Ask yourself what disputes arise every year and how they could be avoided. Often it is enough to turn a small wheel for the structure to develop again.”
Christmas is the Celebration of Love. It is perfectly staged in the media. This illusory world puts many people under pressure because they want a similar harmony and idyll under the Christmas tree. Personality psychologist Philipp Herzberg advises people to be more calm: “Christmas is similar to looking forward to the holidays. If the expectations are not set too high, the potential for failure is lower.” Looking at it this way, every celebration is a success.
Tips for a more harmonious holiday season: • Less is more. The lower the expectations, the lower the potential for fall.
• Plan spontaneously. You should only roughly define what you absolutely want to get done, and there must be enough time for spontaneity in between.
• Get out into nature. Walking or playing in the forest, on the beach, on the mountain and in the snow is good and relaxing.
• Craft. Children enjoy working with colored and glossy paper, paints, materials and glue. This creates Christmas presents that come from the heart.
• Don't force a Christmas party. If it doesn't fit: from January onwards, your favorite restaurants will no longer be fully booked!
• Why are there arguments? Dare to take a bird's eye view with your partner and expose problematic situations! Think about what you can do to defuse this explosive. Sometimes all it takes is turning a small wheel differently to change the course of the big one.
• Dare to break with traditions. Just because you've always gone to the family gathering on Christmas Eve doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.
• Reflect. Christmas is not a celebration of the gift rush, children can learn that too.
• Find partial solutions. Different interests collide at family celebrations. Some want to play, others want to chat and others want to go to church. You don't have to do everything together.
(Text: Susanne Hansen)
Contact person Univ.-Prof. Dr. Philipp Y. Herzberg, Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, Tel. 040 6541-2845, Email herzberg@hsu-hh.de
Image: Personality psychologist Univ.-Prof. Dr. Philipp Y. Herzberg gives tips for a more harmonious Christmas season. (Copyright: Reinhard Scheiblich)
Contact person:
Univ.-Prof. Dr. Philipp Y. Herzberg
Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences
Tel. 040 6541-2845
Email herzberg@hsu-hh.de
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Press release from the Helmut Schmidt University Hamburg Oh, wonderful Christmas time! Preparations are now in full swing: many are rushing from the shops to the Christmas market, from the fairy tale, concert or bazaar to the celebration at work, club or school. Gifts are looked for, cards are written, menus and visits are planned. One in three perceives the time before and during the festival as
